Filed under: Uncategorized
I am the oldest child. I have one younger brother. If my brother and I could combine the best aspects of who we are into one person, well, we’d be the perfect person. Maybe not perfect in the eyes of a normal person, but perfect in the eyes of my dad.
Things about me that my dad probably thinks is awesome.
-Financially, I am very secure . . . and always have been. (I don’t know why I felt the need to put money first, but I did)
- I grew up. I wasn’t sure how mature I was going to be, but when I got there, it was where I was supposed to be.
- I was a house devil, street angel.
Things Dad might be able to do without.
- Ever since my mom died, I cannot deny I have pretty much looked at him as the financial means to my being. I love him very much, but it is obvious I am not, and will never be, the center of his universe.
- I am gay. Maybe that is the reaction to the last question. Maybe I always needed to find a man who I could be the center of his universe. Although that goes beyond my stern belief that being gay is biological, but whatever. I’ll believe they can both co-exist.
- I am expensive. I have had two major diseases, been in three car accidents, and went to college 2,000 miles away from home. I paid for not one of those expenses. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t.
Talking a lot about my dad because I just saw him, and felt everyone of the things I just described. Good and bad, but never inbetween. I am the center of my own universe, and the world is spinning. Trying to get back to what got back to me. My family.
Filed under: Preface
Golden Girls is on in the background. It’s a pretty timeless show, I mean the relationships between the characters are what I believe really holds the show together. That being said, there are times when the show isn’t familiar to me, that’s because those ladies are in the forth quarter. They’ve lived through life’s first three quarters, childhood, getting it all together, parenthood, now these ladies are just sitting around a table drinking coffee waiting for it to be over. Blunt, I know. But essentially we’re all going along the same path, just how exactly we travel it is what will separate us. (By all of us, I am making a huge assumption that the majority of people reading this are healthy individuals living in developed counties)
I want to make sure my second quarter, my chance to get my life together, is what cements my happiness. The first quarter I fell behind a bit, but I wasn’t playing my best. (Sorry about the sports analogies, they are going to come often and always) When you finally figure out what you need to do to live the life you want, you find a way to make it happen. Documenting all of this is going to be hard, but exciting at the same time. Even if no one is out there, I am here. That feels good to say.
Filed under: Uncategorized
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