I still love Hillary. She’s great and will continue to do excellent things in the Senate and be an advocate for many Americans who may feel their voice is not being heard.

Everyone is worried about my brother. They think he is depressed, not finding his way, just a little off kilter. I agree, he is probably all of that and more. However, I don’t feel it’s my responsibility to worry about him, or try and find the solution to his unhappiness. As a brother, I want to be there to listen to him, rather than tell him what he’s doing wrong, and how he’s destined for a life filled with failure. Sometimes the people I love most just can’t seem to find a way to communicate, to love one another without judgement. He’s doing something amazing this weekend, and while he’s stressed and more than a little on edge, the focus shouldn’t be forgotten.

He put together a charity baseball game. When my mom died of Breast Cancer, he was absent, wasn’t in the house when she passed, really was afraid of everything that was happening. I think because of that isolation and disconnection from her in her last few months he has an incredible desire to do this kind of stuff. The event is called “At Bat Against Breast Cancer.” It’s pretty impressive, he’s solicited donations from the Utica community (I’m not sure how big the community is here), our family and friends, and different corporations. He’s doing this both in memory and honor of our mom, but also to benefit a local family affected by breast cancer. My brother is amazing, when he sets his mind to something, however he has to, he gets it done.

Everything starts in about two hours. My hope is that he finds whatever it is he is looking for in putting this together. I feel for him this time in his life is not so much destination oriented as he is enjoying his journey. It’s been a long journey for a 21 year old. But with my brother, you wouldn’t expect anything uncomplicated.

I love and admire him, and whether he believes it or not, I see a lot of our mom in him. She is incredibly proud of him.

How many times have you heard a conversation that began like that, innocent enough, but at same time, loaded with potential meaning.

This person and I met at a bar. He was wearing a Milwaukee Brewers Tee Shirt. Being that this is Pennsylvania, not too many people wear Milwaukee Brewers Tee Shirts. Being that I am from Wisconsin, I felt the need to bring up the fact that he was wearing a shirt possibly purchased in my home state.

We talked for the rest of night, I rudely ignored all my other friends and just had a really good conversation with this guy. I was walking him home, and I don’t think either of us really wanted to call it a night. So we walked back to my house.

I had spent the night hosting a charity event, and I had put down a few drinks. He says he didn’t have a lot to drink and I have no reason not to believe him. We played some Wii, talked some more. I showed him some personal artifacts,  not for the sheer sake of just showing off what I have, because I wanted him to see some of the components that have made me who I am.

It’s like I knew that there’s a good chance we’d never meet up again, and maybe if we just had a few moments where we could meet I to I, we’d have a connection that could be more than a zygote.

He talked fast, real fast. His words were like matchbox cars, he said each of them in a zippish twist. I had to catch them all. He ‘s passionate. You can tell he thinks about things, deeply, and looks for other people who share his same passion. Not necessarily for the same things, just for something.

He lives four hours away from me. I live four hours away from him. We’ll see what happens.

It’s been three months since we broke up, which means if we were still together we’d have been together for ten months, and had been talking for more than a year. Obviously those milestones are imaginary pebbles now. After we broke up, I wanted us to be friends right away. I knew the relationship wasn’t working, but I really, deep down in my heart felt that a friendship was the way to go. Caring for him wasn’t the issue, it was loving him the way he loved me that just didn’t line up. I think he wanted me to take care of all the stuff that hadn’t happened for him yet. Be that finding a good job, moving away from home, among other things.

Just recently we have begun to talk. It is pretty casual. Nothing too serious, just two people who know a lot about each other not necessarily making that fact crystal clear. It’s like we are learning to be friends, and re-getting to know each other in that vein. I’ll always love him, but like I said before, it’s not the love that will define my life and heart.

Still, I am really glad we have found a way to communicate. Whether we want to admit it or not, for a long time we’ll still have a prime seat in the back of each others’ mind.

I have fallen off the wagon a little bit. But I feel myself getting more connected to my goals. Which I need to state, I guess I could just write them down here.

1. Lose 30 pounds in sixty days. Breaking that up it is a half pound everyday. I think it is doable.

1.5. Eat healthy. No fast food, no fried food, no red meat.

2. Go on a date. Find someone that I’m into enough to date, but cool about enough to keep it casual.

3. Find some friends who are worth my time.

4. Drink once a week, not when I’m weak.

I also have another idea. It is Cher cover band called Share. It’s probably already been done, but I think it would be awesome. Imagine “If I Could Turn Back Time” in my low register. Even better “Believe.” You gotta admit, that while it might not be the idea that makes me millions, it could very well be something that entertains millions. And that’s just as good in my opinion, so if anyone knows of guys who’d like to join me just give me a shout.

And life isn’t all about rainbows because there no such as indigo. It’s nature’s Santa Claus. Don’t believe the hype.

Perhaps we’ve forgotten how lucky we all are. Think hard about someone who died before their time, leaving their family and friends broken and questioning it all. I’m sure “gone too soon” soul would find a way to see the silver lining on every dark cloud. Think of someone who’s worse off than you, whether it be monetarily, emotionally, physically, or even intellectually (if you can evaluate that independently). Maybe if you were in their shoes you could justify your attitude. Look at what you have. List the things in your love that your truly love, if  breathing, living, soul-filled things don’t fill that list, maybe that’s where your unhappiness stems from.

Of course this free write is filled with maybes, perhapses, and ifs. But that’s what a push is, its a thesis. Maybe we all need a happiness thesis that can drive us away from those folks and things that keeps us away from breezy stress less days and fun enjoyable nights.

An example from my own life that could work from time to time.

If I remember that the teams I support and the effort they put forth on the field or court are not a direct reflection on my abilities, then I will be able to let go of losses and celebrate the victories more appropriately.

In all honesty I just want to see more people nod their head as opposed to shake it. More people hum along than close their eyes. It’s so easy to look up and see gray clouds, but if you look out, there’s probably a light waiting for someone to see it shine.

The girl tells my co-worker, in front of his quasi girlfriend, that he could do better. He’s pissed, the girl is understandably upset, and I’m left thinking “Holy shit, am I going to be in the middle of this.” My co-worker kicks the girl out of his party, I don’t leave to try to smooth things over, and its just a little, no a lot, awkward the rest of the night. I’m not upset with anyone, people can say whatever they want, I just am pissed that the night got tarnished. Looking forward to a good time, and that was wasted. I was wasted too, but it all works out in the end I guess.

Just, words. But man, it was obvious tonight. What you say and how you say it has a huge influence on how people think about you, and relate to you.

Do you think Miley Cyrus picture is too racy? Head on over to cnn.com and let us know.

You know, everyone is talking about this picture, and you really have to have an opinion about it. Is Hannah Montana over the line?

Who the fuck cares. Darfur. Food Prices. A Presidential Election. Let’s put those on the back burner for some sweet talk about how one little girl, and one little picture deserve all of our attention. You know, there’s a reason why American school children are falling behind the rest of the world in academic accomplishment. The adults in this country set funny examples of what people care about, and need to know.

Maybe, like me, you’ll remember you have done amazing things before and you’re capable of doing them again.

Maybe, like me, you’ll remember that when one person defines another, two souls can be lost in our heartbeat.

Maybe, like me, you’ll remember that every problem you try to solve everyday will probably end up solving itself.

I believe that’s an awesome life lesson. Trust yourself to let it happen by itself.